id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
