I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize