why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
