I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
