So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
