Can i not drive my cunt home
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
