Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I got her a Nickelback box set.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
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