Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
