just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
We have started to decorate penises.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
