I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Randomize
