we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
