I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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