He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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