another moral hangover. fuck.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize