Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I stole a fireplace last night.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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