I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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