i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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