Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
i would one night stand the shit outta him
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize