I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
