And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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