Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...

(703): View more from Virginia

oh

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

so when am I gonna get some from you?

(617): View more from Massachusetts

when you dick grows 3 inches

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(301): View more from Maryland

just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.

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(914): View more from New York

After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...

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(937): View more from Ohio

What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.

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(507): View more from Minnesota

Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.

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(573): View more from Missouri

I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.

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