I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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