no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
