Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
