I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
You were trust falling into bushes
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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