as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
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