I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Who put my cat in the fridge?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
