I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize