This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
