The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
