Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
