I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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