I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
