The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
