Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
