he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
