you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
