addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I would ride that face into the sunset
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
