I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize