I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
