Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
