What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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