So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
