his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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