Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
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