He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
