What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
