We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
