i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
