apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
