she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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