Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
