I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Randomize
