i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
