She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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