Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
