Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Randomize
