just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
