Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
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