our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
