Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
