My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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