You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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