just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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